To Kamie

So, Miss Kamie,

We waited a long time to meet you and we were so excited to see your cute little face.

You guys were going to be quite the cousins. . . Gabe was supposed to look out for you and teach you stuff since he was a couple weeks ahead of you.

He was pretty happy to meet you, don'tcha think he looks like it?

And then he got to go to Heaven before all of us

and you weren't the little almost twins cousins anymore

and your mommy and daddy didn't know if they should let us see you

or if your warm, chubby little self would make us too sad.

Oh, Kamie, I want to see you. You are still my first little niece and you are still just cuteness and I am still so happy that you're you and you're alive and all squishy and smiley.

You will always have a really special place in our hearts and we will always think of you and Gabe as little cousins even though you won't grow up together. . .

and he'll never bite you

or grab your toys

or tease you

or lord his drivers permit over you. . .

On Sunday, you were finally older than Gabe and I was so happy to realize that. It made your mommy's heart all sad, cuz she liked being able to have him ahead of you to test out the scary waters of orajel and rice cereal and stuff like that.

But my heart was so happy, cuz I want you to live and grow up and love Jesus and love your mommy and daddy and be Miss Cuteness and it's okay.

People watch us together when I hold you and I can see their little whispers and their doubting eyes, wondering if I'm pretending that you are someone else. . . or if I'm jealous that your mommy has you to squeeze. I think you and I both know that you aren't my own little baby, so I really don't have to explain to you, but I'll just tell you anyway, just in case you ever wonder. . .

I love you, Kamie, just for who you are.

Thank you, little Miss Kamie, for helping my mommy-heart heal.

Kamie and Aunt Hayley on May 19, 2010