I spent some time today searching for blogs and resources on infant loss and SIDS. . .
Lots and lots of sites for miscarriage/stillbirth. . .
. . .not too many for making your coffee / taking a shower / going upstairs and finding your baby in Heaven.
I want to know how other parents deal with the shock. I feel like I am still reeling.
I know that some think we are getting over it or going on; I don't think they realize that we are still trying to wrap our minds around the fact that Gabe even died.
I wrote a friend the other day . . .we are so lame right now. Thank you for inviting us. . .we do want to get together and we love you guys. We so don't know how to be. We feel like we went from type-a happy people to social misfits. We want to spend time with you- if you can stand to be around us!
I tried to express this to Marlys the other night as she rescued me from another social event, allowing me to escape to the refuge of their home.
I'm so sorry that I'm such a sponge!
What would we do without the people who have let us be sponges, absorbing their strength and love and care and faith?
We wouldn't be able to cope.
Not that I would say I'm coping well - what does that mean, anyway?
I am not coping. I am being carried by a strength greater than my own.