Wednesday, June 26, 2013

[goodbyes are. . . not fun]

::Angela Wyatt Photography::
Tonight . . . down at the river with a ton of great food and music and drinks and friends a bunch of us threw a goodbye party
for some amazing people.
Can't even think about the reality of saying goodbye to these guys.
Our summer has been full of really tough goodbyes. 
Wow. Yuck. 
Don't cry because it's over,
Smile because it happened. . . .
said no one, ever.
So thankful for seven years of an incredible friendship and being able to serve under the direction and leadership of Pastor Jake and Loren. 
When I knew they were leaving. . . that God was calling them somewhere far from here. . . I literally threw up.  (I know. . . it's so needy.)  I know that they are human and not perfect and I shouldn't hang on so tightly-- yet they have been used by God in such mighty ways in our church, in our community, in our family.
I wrote the letter below to Loren for her birthday three years ago.  I guess it really encapsulates what I'm thinking tonight.
Well, Loren. . .


This isn’t my handwriting cuz I don’t have time and I know you will forgive the computer generated birthday card.

What a year.

Wow, I don’t know how to make you understand how thankful we are for you guys keeping us alive.

When we couldn’t go on there you were.  Wheh we were afraid you were strength. When there wasn’t any hope you believed for us.

Your life is a gift.

Your transparency is incredible

Your heart is so big

Your generosity blows people away.

Your laughter and joy makes people feel welcome.

Your family’s ministry is

You pour pour pour out your self for others.

You are a treasure to our church.

You are a treasure to everyone who knows you.

You are a treasure to me.

The more I know your beautiful heart the more I am in awe of how you allow God to work through you.

I love you like crazy, Loren. I cry as I type, thinking about all the hundreds of ways you have cared for my breaking heart this summer.


You have been the hands and feet of Christ to us.  We cannot separate your faces out of Gabe’s story.  You were with us from the beginning. 
If I close my eyes and see his gravesite, I see Jake kneeling with his arms around our kids letting the balloons go. 
If I close my eyes and picture coming home to that empty, empty house, I see your faces at the door with all of that DQ deliverance. 

If I remember watching pictures of my son for the first time since saying goodbye to him, I feel your arms around us, weeping with us as we watched his little life flash by in photos.
When I think about being afraid to go back to church, I see your compassion and your prayer and your “are you gonna make it, we’re right here, you aren’t alone, come over tonight.” 
When I see my husband at the table with cops and the medical examiner, I see your husband, too, not leaving.  I remember Daniel turning to him and saying, “Can you just sit here with me?” and yours saying “I’m right here, buddy, not going anywhere.” 
I see your beautiful chalk art on my wall every.single.morning and I think she is so amazing.  I’m never taking it down.  And if Cambria destroys it someday, you just gotta come do it again.  Your art Gabe’s picture it’s priceless, Loren.  Your thoughtfulness, your sensitivity are just incredible.

We are so blessed to serve under you guys & your leadership.

Thanks for supporting your husband, thanks for doing the very thankless, difficult job of being “the pastor’s wife”  You rock at it.  (Plus you are a very hot pastor’s wife.)

Love you, Loren.  You guys may end up at a church that pays you the million dollars a year you deserve, but you are a friend for life. . . wherever God takes you guys.

outreach with teens

oh yeah, we all wore hats. . . (loren, miranda, me)

sanctus real concert

Loren named this picture "The Deacon Wives" . What a solemn name.  Ha ha. (me, Deeann, Loren, Brooke) 

You better love 'em, East Coast!

So thankful to have friends who say yes to God in every area of their lives but WOW they will be missed.



  1. on days when i have to say good bye i thank God, truly, for the technology we have today to communicate with our loved ones. its.NOT.easy. and when on earth are we supposed to SMILE because it happened? i am still in the midst of figuring that one out :) hugs!

  2. When you live 1400 miles from your family you KNOW what goodbye means... xoxo