Monday, October 26, 2009

What men will never feel:

With eleven weeks of pregnancy left, I'm celebrating by pointing out a few things that are just unforgettable about carrying a baby that men will never experience.

~"beached whale syndrome" (this is where you try to roll over in bed)

~hunger but no room in their stomachs for food. (This is why pregnant women seem to eat all the time. We really aren't eating that much - we just have to eat lots of little meals.)

~sharp kicks to their kidneys.

~the need to use the restroom before they go to bed, before they actually go to sleep, two hours after they fall asleep, two hours before they wake up, and the minute their eyes pop open in the morning.

~inability to reach comfortably to shave legs or paint toenails. (oh, wait. . . men don't do that.)

~the need for five different sizes of clothes for their different stages: Normal (whatever that is), the "Is-She-Preggo-Or-Just-Putting-On-Weight?" stage, Pregnant (where you can sort of look cute in maternity tops), REALLY Pregnant (the two month period where everyone feels the need to remind you how uncomfortable you look) and then Post-Pregnancy. (No, you do not revert back to "normal" when the little munchkin pops out. In fact, that introduces a whole slew of different sizing problems.) This is why we need to shop!

So~ did I leave any experiences out?

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