Tuesday, October 26, 2010

Inadequacy. . .


Choose to dwell on the fact that Jacob wrote his name on his Sunday pants while we were blissfully enveloped in the Steven Curtis Chapman concert


Choose to dwell on the fact that I totally fail at the respect part of Emerson Eggerich's great Love & Respect concept


Choose to dwell on the fact that JD has apparently not been obeying his Sunday School teachers for some time now


Choose to dwell on why Cambria *still sucks her thumb*


Choose to worry if I can let myself love another baby


Choose to be frustrated that my husband bought me a super nice expensive razor (I do shave my legs, that wasn't a hint from him) instead of something that I would rather have. (Men and their gift choices never cease to amaze me)


I can choose dependence on Christ.

I can thank Him that I have a concrete (or rather, ink) opportunity to train my son.

I can be thankful for a husband that I can respect.

I can be thankful that I have the awareness and ability to teach my son to obey authorities in his life.

I can thank God for a sensitive daughter who needs me and needs love.

I can trust that perfect love casts out fear and know that God will fill my heart with the love I need to care for my little people

I can enjoy a super nice razor and enjoy the card my man got for me that tells me I am appreciated and loved (even though I feel so, so inadequate).

Inadequate is a good place to be; I realize that it's not about me.  It's not about my skills.  It's not about my wisdom, and definitely not my parenting.  Inadequacy forces me to the Cross and to acknowledge that it's about Him.


When I found the ink name, I brought the pants to Jacob and he looked dutifully guilty.  I told him he would have to help me scrub it out among other things.


"Yes, Jacob."

"Look in the pocket."

{I look.  Crumpled up note.  Misspelled words.}

Mom as so [backward "s"] god too me. Love [backward "l"] Jacob

"It says mom is so good to me."

Big brown eyes.

Hopeful for forgiveness.

I melt.

Thanks, God, that You model forgiveness and give me so much hope for my inadequacy.  Let me live that kind of love and model that forgiveness to my children.


  1. I love, love that cute little note. Lots of hugs to your little man. And don't worry about Cambria. I'm sure she will leave the habit soon!

    And I loved this post. You have actually balanced everything. Like they say - Count your blessings :)

    Love and hugs!

  2. Wow, what a great post. And I sucked my thumb until I was in grade 2! Finally on a trip to Disneyland my parents told me it was against the law to suck your thumb in California. It worked.

  3. Wonderful post.

    I sucked my thumb until I was three or four. My parents took me to the dentist who told me it would ruin my teeth. Never sucked it again. (And that's how I got Sam potty-trained: told him the doctor said he had to wear underwear.)

    Good luck!

  4. I've heard hairspray helps get ink out of clothes...what an unexpected blessing in that little note! Keep your chin up, you're doing a great job. :)

    Thanks for this reminder to choose what I dwell on!

  5. wonderful wonderful post. I think I need to make a list of all of my 'blessings'.

    maybe tell Cambria that her thumb will get really really FAT if she keeps sucking on it :)
    but its probably a 'security' thing for her right now. good luck!!!

  6. This made me cry.
    Especially the note from Jacob.